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Post by floyd on May 30, 2008 10:15:12 GMT
Another one for the list, apparently she had purllella for dinner last night 'Ya know, that Spanish one'
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Post by mikeyuk on Jun 2, 2008 19:13:51 GMT
Someone next to me at the start of a race asked me how far the race was. I told him it was a half marathon. "Yes, but how far is it?" I told him it was 13 miles. "Really? That far? Gosh. I didn't know it was that far". I asked him how far he thought a half marathon might be. "I don't know, I haven't really thought about it. 3 miles?"
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Post by floyd on Jun 2, 2008 20:10:12 GMT
Oh my fucking god, why would you go in for a race when you have no idea how far it is
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Post by xamishx on Jun 2, 2008 20:17:32 GMT
A guy I used to work with followed our driver to our new building. So he gets into the building and is talking to our driver while in the back of the truck (we have a big box truck) and he asked "So, how did you get here?"
He's since been fired.
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Post by floyd on Jun 3, 2008 17:08:09 GMT
As promised here is a line from the idiot secretary. Bare in mind that this is an automated out-of office reply that anyone dealing with the University receives, be they students, parents, potential funders, collaborators, everyone gets it.
"I am on annual leave and will be back in the office on Monday 9th June to which I will respond to emails then."
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Post by xamishx on Jun 3, 2008 17:20:04 GMT
amazing.
I used to work with a broad who spelled her own name wrong. For 30 years.
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Post by floyd on Jul 23, 2008 19:56:16 GMT
A new one and possibly on a par with the tapeworm story...
This was reported to me by 2 students who couldn't believe what they were hearing, I am pissed that I missed it because trust me, its a good un!
The 2 students were discussing the difference between gastric banding and gastric bypass as a female colleague of ours has had a bypass done. The students went into great detail of the specifics of the bypass and how a huge amount of your stomach is removed during the operation. Idiot secretary takes all this in with great fascination then looks horrified and says......
"Can she still have kids"..............
Absolute gold
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Post by gator3336 on Jul 23, 2008 21:55:30 GMT
Hahahaha, awesome. Too bad she (secretary) can still reproduce...
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Post by floyd on Jul 23, 2008 22:26:27 GMT
Funny you should say that, one of the students she made the comment to is a junior doctor and he said, and I quote "I'm amazed she got it in the right fucking hole"
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Post by gator3336 on Jul 24, 2008 3:51:34 GMT
Something tells me there were many false starts in that particular game.
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Post by floyd on Aug 18, 2008 22:06:20 GMT
A couple more for the list.......
"Australia is part of the E.U. isn't it"
This one is just priceless, while talking about the olympics we were discussing the plight of a weightlifter who suffered a prolapsed rectum as a result of him straining to lift.
When an absent member of staff returned to the office, she couldn't wait to tell him of our detailed discussions of a poor man who had a "relaxed plectrum".......................................
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Post by tuck on Aug 19, 2008 1:20:16 GMT
"Australia is part of the E.U. isn't it" That's like the American bloke I knew who listed his second preference as "New Zealand" for the European country he wanted to live in as an exchange student. (He eventually moved to the Netherlands... they're probably still trying to recover).
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Post by floyd on Nov 18, 2008 20:51:42 GMT
Got another new one......
"My doctor has told me to lose some weight because my BMX is too high"
Really, can you still do wheelies?
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Post by mikeyuk on Nov 18, 2008 21:23:34 GMT
I picked up a voice mail from someone on my mobile today. "Hello, Mike. I rang you because I want to talk to you".
Someone else spoke to me last week. They were sending a form in, and asked, "What do I put in where it says, 'Name'?".
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Post by mikeyuk on Jan 14, 2009 20:43:30 GMT
I signed up to Facebook a week or so ago, for reasons that escape me, now. A former work colleague of mine who got in touch, had her mood set to, "I am not like this cold weather". Having failed to spot that this didn't quite make sense, one of her friends wrote, "What weather are you like, then?" Not taking the hint, she replied, "We've had some snow". Bless.
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